ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!

Somehow, I'm reminded of my childhood.

-Brien

MAKE THE GIRL DANCE

I'll just leave this here...



-Brien

FAIL

Sauce: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kn30slt_7-0

-Brien

IMPORTANT NEWS!!!

Hey I know it's been a while since we posted anything but I just couldn't let this one slide. Recently Joe Trohman of Fall Out Boy fame sat down for a chat with Ultimate-Guitar.com's Brandon Weiss. In the controversial interview he revealed astonishing secrets and details about the band's current album and supporting tour. When asked bout the various aspects of the band's rise from pop-punk indie band to rock star juggernauts, he had this to say:

"I actually used to have long hair before people cared about Fall Out Boy. It was really long, about this long. You know how as you grow older the texture of your hair changes? My hair used to be like the longer it wouldn’t weight down, it would just go out. Now it weighs down. I think it has to do with me getting older and my hair texture just completely changing. It was weird. Our fans kept bugging me to grow my hair back out and I was like “um yeah, sure, why not?” I started doing it. It is cool for playing live. I’ve always noticed that dudes that have long hair when they’re headbanging it looks like they’re rocking out harder than they really are. I know that’s the visual trickery of it. Of course all the cool, classic rock guitar players had long hair which made them look awesome. I like it. My hair is so thick and unmanageable that it really gets in the way sometimes of not just eating, but seeing too. Especially on stage it can be a difficult thing to do. I’m still learning how to balance enjoying my hair length and being able to see and play on stage."



Ultimate-Guitar.com. Important shit.

-Brien

108

Take two deep breaths

Count down slowly

The girls won't turn their noses up at you

The jocks will put on weight and lose their appeal

The bad teachers will fade from memory

Backstabbing ex's will miss your smile

The "freaks" will realize that their originality is a facade

One breath

Good people emerge in view

Girls who laughed at your jokes

Guys who called just to chill

Teachers who taught you how to think

And also how to write

Family that gave you morals

And challenged you to debate

One day you'll rise above all of this

Make your money having your say

So relax for now

This won't hurt a bit.

~Andy

JONAS BROTHERS FAIL

Thank you, Failblog.


VS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGqzbUsqFxY

-Brien

Unpublished.

Maybe it's because I don't know the right people.
Maybe it's because my favorite writers aren't scholars with years of schooling in literary craft, but sweaty, hairy men on a stage, slapping a bass or pounding a cowbell.
Maybe it's because poetry to me isn't a painting, but a photograph.
Maybe it's because I'm a photographer who hasn't discovered Photoshop.
Maybe it's spite. Envious spite.
Maybe it's the language; maybe it's too thick and obscure.
Maybe it's the hours spent clicking buttons and gazing at back-lit screens instead of pouring over the sacred scriptures.
Burning my precious time away
like a cigarette on an ashtray.
Maybe it's trite similes like that.
Maybe it's because I don't care enough.
Maybe I'm just delusional.
Maybe it's because it's not my time.
Or maybe, just maybe, it's because I suck.

-Brien

MY GOD THE WALLS!

How many times has this happened to you? You buy a million dollar home in sunny Florida, and then inexplicably get headaches and bloody noses. You're rich! You should never have to deal with common ailments! Of course, you do the first thing that makes sense, you blame it on the Chinese drywall...

Alright alright, so it seems as if the drywall plague has some merit, and it has been making them sick. But does this REALLY need to be on the front page of CNN? From sensationalizing the H1N1 virus to telling you your walls are going to kill you, CNN's got panic on their side. I mean, look at the story, it was on the front page. Nevermind insinuations that cops in Texas are shaking down pulled over motorists, or the fact that guns and body armor were found in a day care, we need to hear about the millionaires with homes are making them sick.

The picture is what really made me laugh, there are still thousands of homeless people in New Orleans and across America, and here are two women hugging and consoling each other in their designer label outfits and apparently marble lined kitchen. At first I thought it was just a misprint but CNN is actually expecting me to feel sorry for them. Though this story is interesting, it doesn't deserve the front page.

Yes yes I know I ranted a bit, I'm sorry for that but I'm tired of our media. Also I laughed because this story reminded me of that Aaahh Real Monsters! episode where the students are sent to a haunted house to get a scare.

I would have posted a clip but they're nowhere to be found on the internet, so I apologize that this post isn't as amusing as I had intended.

~Andy

FAIL: EMINEM STARS IN NEW PUNISHER COMIC

In what seems like a desperate attempt to boost the fanbase of both parties, Marvel and Eminem have joined forces to produce the greatest lump shit to hit comic books since One More Day. The story involves Eminem becoming caught up in a shoot out or something after a show, at which point dear ol' Frank gets involved. Apparently the two team up realizing that despite decades of Marine training and vigilantism and a stockpile of weapons big enough to start a small army, this job is just too big for the Punisher to handle alone. Who can assist him in the daunting mission of taking down the same breed of street thugs he's been murdering for years? Spider-Man? Daredevil? While both have proved their worth in previous team-ups, they still can't quite match the level of skill that years of multi-platinum record sales has brought Eminem.



This is a pathetic joke and anyone who buys this trash should be shot. In the knees. Obviously they'll be able to take it if they're willing to put themselves through that kind of torture. I really hope Marvel gets their shit together soon. Eminem/Punisher: Kill You (creative, I know) came out yesterday and is split in two halves, one on store shelves, and one on marvel.com. I tell you this in the hope that you will avoid either at all costs until this shitstorm has passed.

-Brien

IT GOES TO 11 ALL OVER AGAIN

My, my, today's just been full of blogworthies. Apparently metal parody band, Spinal Tap is releasing a new album in commemoration of the 25th anniversary of the famous film. The album, entitled Back from the Dead, features all of the bands hits and misses rerecorded for a the 21st century along with 6 new songs, as well as a 3-part Jazz Odyssey.

Here's some new Tap, and some old Tap to celebrate!



VS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXGbwIkvh38



VS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGuWS_mEcMk


-Brien

CONSPIRACY AMERICAN

Stumbling through the wreckage of Youtube the other day I came across this interesting assortment of conspiracy videos. No, these were not about how "bush knocked down the towers", they were about how Marvel Comics legend, Captain America, had been cleverly and very subtly implanted in the first to releases from Marvel Studios last summer, Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk. Now for those who don't know (most of you I suspect), the Captain was a hero in WWII and was thought dead after his plane was shot down. He was found three decades later frozen in a block of ice in Antarctica and returned to action shortly afterward with superhero superteam, The Avengers.



The one in Iron Man is pretty easy to spot, right behind Tony Stark as Pepper Pots catches him trying to get out of his suit. It's the famous shield Captain America uses apparently contracted to Stark Industries for production. The clip from the alternate beginning to The Incredible Hulk however, comes a bit faster and is much harder to pick up. After Bruce Banner transforms and crushes and ice cliff, you can see a blurry red and blue figure in the ice with a circular red blue object, complete with a white star in the middle lying next to him.

Both clips only last for a couple seconds, but they're real and for a nerds like me everywhere seeing it for the first time it's quite a treat. You know that Christmas gift you got one year? The one that that ruined all the following Christmases because it was so damn good and set the bar so high that every other gift was just a pathetic disappointment? This is that gift. Hopefully Marvel Studios won't turn into my friends and family and let me down year after year too.


This of course is just another tease at the planned Captain America and Avengers films by Marvel. This cameo just isn't as easily spotted as Nick Fury and Tony Stark in Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk, respectively. I'm really looking forward to what Marvel has in store 2010, onward. Wolverine however, I might just have sit out on for now after -ahem- previewing it last month. After all, the script's by the same guy that managed to ruin the Hitman movie.

The video below is the best I found to sum up this delicious easter egg. It features stills of both clips and makes them pretty easy to see. If you want to see the actual clips you can do your own research. With things on Youtube the way they are I figured posting them here would lead to a "this video has been removed due to blah blah blah" anyway and didn't bother.


Anyway, enough lollygagging. Here it is, Captain America as featured in Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk. Enjoy!





VS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4H2OqymsXw


-Brien







If you're any kind of comic book fan you'd know that Captain America didn't have a circular sheild until AFTER he was unfrozen, but I suppose comic book adaptations pride themselves on how inaccurate they are these days. Unless you're Zack Snyder of course.

I GEZ I MUSTA KILLED DEM

Eminem's got a new video out and the consensus seems to be in line with my reaction: good lyrics, nice flow, but what in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory is with that voice? It sounds as if Mister Mathers has been grabbing his balls just a little to hard lately. It's the voice he usually uses to break things up or to imitate someone, but here it's the normal tone for the entire song. I don't understand it. I'd like the song if it weren't for that one aspect. The chorus is a little weak, but it's made up for with the great surrealist-psycho themes Eminem is known for.

The video has issues too. The whole "B Horror Film" theme is a bit trite and a lot lame. There's plenty of blood, gore, and sharp object, and enough green tint to make you think you were watching the latest Saw film. Eminem rapping in the woods with his shirt off is no improvement either. I expected more from an artist's whose videos (at least until recently) have always impressed me with either great pop-culture spoofs and nice animations.

Anyway here it is, the latest from Eminem's The Relapse, "3AM".



VS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvMvFE9K0Q8


-Brien

MEGATRON WANTS WHAT'S IN MY HEAD!

So there's a new Transformers 2 trailer out...



VS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5lCxB-MF28

ya dig?

-Brien

I'm Back

Hello all of you nonexistent readers, I'm back with bravado. I thought that I'd give you a small taste of what's in my journal, I'll be putting in things occasionally that aren't too personal and aren't too bland to post.

This is one I wrote about showers;

drip drop drip patter sploosh splat plot bloop blip quoip tick tick tick till dribble splip splip dboop dboop
Water feels good.
Runs down my head, washes away all strife and troubles alongside dirt from a long day of work.
I love to soap up so much that I look like a ghost.
I usually let it soak into my skin, it lets me feel like the soap is really getting rid of all the bad parts to life.
There really is nothing like washing out greasy hair and a sweaty face.
Facial cleansers are fun to use, knowing that I can get the grime from cigarette smoke out of my pores.
Body wash is nice for getting out the sweat accumulated on my skin from lugging my musical accoutrements around all day.
I love hand washes, getting the grime of years old-stained with chicken grease-covered in dead skin cells-guitar strings out from under my nails.
Showers are fun

~Richard Harland